Happy Fathers Day 2019 Jokes, One-Liners, Humorous Funny Riddles: Father’s Day for this year has arrived with the 16th June 2019 as it marks the third Sunday of June month. It will be celebrated worldwide like United States (USA), United Kingdom (UK), India and other nations. (share: fathers day images.)
It is a special day dedicated to honoring the fatherhood. To celebrate it with dad, we have brought a collection of jokes for the occasion which will be helpful in marking this event a success. Utilize this perfect time available to you to get back to him and annoy a little bit. Read aloud the below-mentioned one-liners, quips, and father’s day quotes, messages.
Happy Fathers Day 2019 Jokes
Give your dad a dose full of his own kind of metaphorical medicine today. Here below we have a collection of some jokes for dad (father) which have been gathered from sites like Mashable, BuzzFeed, etc. Read, choose and share; it’s simple.
Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.
Me: I’ll call you later.
Dad: Don’t call me later, call me “Dad.”
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
Where does Fonzie from “Happy Days” like to go for lunch? Chick-Fil-Ey.
Me: Dad, make me a sandwich!
Dad: Poof, you’re a sandwich!
Why are no one friends with Dracula? Because he’s such a pain in the neck.
Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father?
Tom: What?
Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.
Johnny’s father: Let me see your report card.
Johnny: I don’t have it.
Johnny’s father: Why not?
Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
“My daughter got me a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.” — Bob Odenkirk
Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Science student: When my father sees my report card!
Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate.
Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!
Son: For $20, I’ll be good.
Dad: Oh, yeah? When I was your age, I was good for nothing.
“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” — Jon Stewart
Dad: Want to hear a pizza joke?
Me: Sure.
Dad: Nevermind. It’s too cheesy.
Why do bears have hairy coats? Fur protection.
Person 1: I hate oyings.
Person 2: What is an oying?
Person 3: This joke.
Pee Wee: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
Westy: Beats me.
Pee Wee: A POPsicle!
I used to work for a soft drink can crushing the company. It was soda pressing.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food here.”
Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
Science student: When my father sees my report card!
When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
If life gives you melons, you’re probably dyslexic.
Dad: What happens when you talk to a cow?
Me: What?
Dad: It goes in one ear and out the udder!
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